Luxy Hair Extensions - Review

I've always had semi-long hair. But it's hard to get it long without it being dead. I usually grow it long in the winter, and then cut off the dead hair in the summer. This summer I didn't get a chance to cut my hair, but it got fried in an over chlor

inated pool in May. I wanted to cut the hair off but really wanted my hair to stay long. I heard about clip in hair extensions on youtube years ago - prior to that you had to get extensions glued/bonded/woven into your hair which was damaging, and it'd have to be redone once your hair grew out.

I decided to look into the clip in hair extensions. I didn't have the money to buy any all summer, since the job situation was baaaad =( . But I researched. I found all the popular ones: Foxy Locks, Hello Gorgeous, EuroNext from Sally's, Luxy, Pro Extensions ...and that's all I can remember.

I watched youtube videos on what people thought of them. I watched mostly black girls' videos since their hair is more like mine, since it's coarse and would need to be ironed out to blend into the extensions. I didn't want super baby soft fine extensions because my hair is nowhere near that. Pro Extensions looked very thin, although their legnth was good and so was the price. But they were a consideration. I actually almost bought them despite this fact. Foxy locks was also a good brand based on the reviews I watched. They were more than what I wanted to spend though. Hello Gorgeous had the thickest ones, so I heard but they cost more money. I didn't hear good things about EuroNext that you get from Sally's, so I nixed that one right off the boat.

Finally I was able to afford them so after months of research and thought, I decided to go with Luxy hair extensions. They had great reviews, I only saw 2 bad ones. The rest were all great. They seemed popular. The girls that run it, Leyla and M

imi are two sisters from Toronto and they do hair tutorials on their youtube channel. They show how to put the extensions in (although many other videos will show you this) but it seems like they really care about their product. I ordered mine on a Sunday evening, they shipped first thing Monday morning, and I got them Thursday afternoon. Shipping was free. It's also free for ProExtensions.

I opened the package and the hair was so soft and healthy feeling. Its real hair, not synthetic barbie type hair. It feels like its coated with something but maybe thats just how regular hair should feel. Mine is so thick, dry and coarse, I really don't know WHAT normal hair is supposed to feel like. lol

This is what the packaging looks like. I got the 1B - off black color.

I was so tired Thursday night, since I had school and band rehearsal every night so far, I was planning on doing them Friday. I had also been sick for a week. Still am not 100% yet. On Friday I was feeling crappy but I decided to put them in because I wanted to wear them to a wedding I was supposed to go to Saturday. But its sat now and I didnt feel good enough to drive up to the wedding and sit there. I'm in bed as I'm typing this! After my cousin called to tell me that they condemned his building that he was renting and his landlord made off with the Oct rent and his security and disappeared, I flat ironed my hair out on the highest setting (don't recommend this unless you have really course hair!). Oh and always use a heat protectant spray too! I made my hair as un-voluminous and as moveable as I could. It still didn't match the texture of the extensions, but I couldn't pull it off if I didn't iron my hair.

My natural hair. I just got it cut pretty short. Ironed. Eek no makeup! Eh whatever...

I watched the tutorial on the Luxy youtube channel and clipped the tracks in as shown. It took about 7-8min to do. Not bad. The clips are strong and tight. They don't hurt at all. I feel like there wasn't much room on my head for all the tracks. I guess I have a small head? But I got them all in. They give you 10 pieces: 2 four clip, 2 three clip, 2 two clip and 4 one clips. Once I finally got them all in, it was AWESOME! I had long hair again! Longer than what it was before I cut it. It went down past my boobs. I'm 5'8'', so that's pretty long.

Extensions in. My real hair is still pretty voluminous even after ironing the hell out of it (top of head). Oh well... It kind of looks like Scene Hair. But the hair in front of my shoulders isn't all of it. Theres more on my back! Its really alot of hair! As for the color blend, I got off black and my hair I always considered to be ''almost black''. Its a tiny bit off. The extensions are a little darker than my natural color, but I definitely think the Dark Brown color was way too light. Dark brown is a large range of shades and its nowhere near my shade. I'm definitely closer to black on the color wheel. In this picture, the flash obviously lights up my hair when I took the picture. Normally, there won't be flashes of bright light around me. I'd wear the extensions out at night or to a concert that I am in, or go see, special events, holidays (only if there are NON SMOKERS there!) I'm not gonna have these things getting all smoked up from secondhand smoke like my normal hair does. I febreze my hair but i'm not gonna febreze these! I'd have to wash them,and washing will shorten the life of them. They do need to be washed, but not as often as your own hair. I dont' plan to heat style these. I will use flexi rods to curl in advance so that should prolong the life of them. I don't know what the money situation will be in the future so Iwant them to last. I would definitely get them again! As far as whether or not they'll be Luxy depends on how these extensions weather the storm. Some of the girls wore them everyday for months. I'll be damned if i'm gonna get up early to put that in my hair before I go to the job du jour! Hell no! I get up, shower and go. So it's only for nights out like I said before. Hopefully they'll last long. I really do like to be able to have shoulder length hair sometimes, and boob length hair other times. Plus its really glamorous. Alot of celebs have extensions, like Kim Kardashian. I always loved her hair. Lots of models and singers do too. I'm very into hollywood glamour. I feel like its very superficial but I just love getting all done up, in fake eyelashes, dramatic makeup, hair extensions, accessories, nice clothes and shoes. *shrug*. Thats just me. What can I say? Except I'm poor! lol

Enough babbling... this is how thick the hair is. My hand is open pretty wide as you can see there. Its 2x as much hair as I have normally!

From the front.

Just another shot. Oops, forgot to fix the red eye.

Obviously, time will tell how the Luxy brand holds up, but so far, I love them. And extensions in general. Definitely will become a regular user. Putting them in was so easy. So was taking them out. And if you're looking for extensions, it really depends on how much you want to spend, and your hair type. I think Pro Extensions are kind of thin looking, and some people have said if you have thick hair, they're not for you. But if you have thin hair, maybe they are! They also have 24'' hair which is longer than the others. Foxy locks and Hello Gorgeous got good reviews too, but were more pricey. Definitely check them out. If this helped anyone, great! If not, I wanted to put my 2 cents out in the web world. I don't feel like making a video. This is good enough.

For more info on Luxy hair extensions, go to www.luxyhair.com

Income vs. Cleanliness?

It seems like there is a link between income level and personal cleanliness. At least when you're out in public, anyway. I've noticed for a long time, that in low income neighborhoods, the public bathrooms are beyond disgusting. There is pee on the floor, garbage, feminine products on the floor, shit on the walls (literally, shit), pee on the toilet seat, and not enough handsoap for us to wash the filth off of us.

Right now I am temping in Perth Amboy, NJ. It is a low income, mostly hispanic immigrant neighborhood in central NJ. The building I work in has several law offices (for immigration, go figure), pregancy centers, and the WIC office. So needless to say, alot of hood rats from off the street come in here,and are permitted to use the bathrooms. That's where the problem starts. Now, I don't know many people who I would classify as ''poor'', although I refer to myself that way now that this recession is in full swing (oh wait! the recession ended in 2009. *smacks head*. Thats right. How silly of me! *sarcastic eyeroll*). But whenever I go places where poor people congregate, mostly the low income medical clinics, dental offices, work, fast food bathrooms etc, they are soooo disgusting! Kind of like the picture below.

But why is it that lower income people don't give a shit about keeping a bathroom clean? I mean now that I'm low income too (hopefully not for too much longer), it doesn't mean I'm gonna destroy bathrooms and pee all over everything. If anything, won't that get all over YOU as well as the floor/toilet seat? I throw my garbage away, and leave everything as I left it, sometimes cleaner! Do poor people think that this is how they take their frustrations out against THE MAN by peeing all over everything? I really wish someone had answers because if you go to Carnegie Hall, Lincoln Center, NJPAC, and other venues where hoodrats generally DON'T go, the bathrooms are clean! Not as immaculate as the ones in the pic below, but they're in good shape for public bathrooms. People respect themselves, and the place they are visiting.

I wonder if some of these people who pee all over the floors and fuck up the bathrooms do this at their own house. I remember when I lived in NY, when I walked past the section 8 housing on my street, it reeked of piss. A few people got offended that I wrote that. I understand not ALL people do it. But enough to make you wonder WHY. Did the inside of their houses smell like piss too? Were they too lazy to walk inside to use the bathroom, so they just unzipped on the side of the stoop. Even animals don't go to the bathroom near where they live/sleep.

I heard stories from some of the maintenence guys that people would come in the building and shit in garbage cans,or shit on the floor of vacant offices. The 10th floor is completely vacant, and is just one big office space with great acoustics (maybe can sneak in a flute performance for youtube inthere, as long as it's clean! haha) My apartment has horrible acoustics. Too much carpet, rugs, and draperies, bla bla bla. Anyway, someone relieved themself, or just wanted to cause trouble in the middle of the concrete floor.

I get calls all the time from tenants (this is a commercial bldg, and again alot of the business' clients use the bathrooms too) that there is pee all over the floor. I just went in the bathroom on my own floor and it smelled like pee. WTF?! I really want to make a sign, and have it in english AND spanish. I don't know if the sign would make a damn difference to these people. I don't like having to wipe down the soles of my shoes w/ clorox cleaner, but no way in HELL am I going into my house after knowingly walking thru a bathroom with pee everywhere!I usually leave my shoes outside too.

I just wish people would respect others, themselves, and the establishments they're in. I dont want to deal with your pee. YOU deal w/ it, put it where it needs to go, and clean it up! >=/

I feel like going to Carvel for happy hour for $2 shakes, now. While this job lasts.

Silence

I officially have the worst luck in this entire universe. This sounds so teenagerish to say, but it's true. Friends have been telling me that for years. But it all kind of came to a closed circle this afternoon.

I woke up, prepared to go apply for more shit jobs close by, then I took a walk on the boardwalk. I was waiting for the Locksmith to call so they can fix my trunk, which thelock won't open on. This way I can transport my kayak around, and have access to my life vest, and seat back. Not to mention books, shoes, resume folder, beachchair etc that are locked in there.

As I was walking, a friend called saying she was at Sandy Hook asking if I wanted to meet up and hang out. I was stuck waiting for the locksmith, who has nevercalled and its 3pm now! But also it cost $10 to go onthe beach, sitting in traffic to get there, it wouldn't work. I had to decline, but I really wanted to hang out. I haven't seen anyone in a week. I've pretty much been isolated due to lack of money.

I had a missed call while I was on the phone w/ my friend andit was my recruiter. Her tone of voice was solemn. There were alot of 'ummm's. She said to call her ASAP about my job. I knew.

I've been a temp for 3yrs. If you're not perfect, they ax you. I've been axed at least 6 or 7 times in the past 3yrs for not being 'the right fit'. I didn't know what the reason was for this thing, but I assumed it was the same.

I called all the temp agencies begging for work. One agency submitted my resume to two different jobs. The others had no work. Of course! Then I called the recruiter to hear the story. She is a very nice lady, who found my resume on Monster, and she continued to be sweet til the end. She generally sounded sorry and she basically said the reason I was axed was...

The woman I was replacing BEGGED for her job back. =( They let her haveit. The woman is a senior citizen who works 2 days a week, goes to FL in the winter, and they needed a full time peroson. That would've been me. She doesn't know Excel or Power Point,a nd all she can really do is type stuff. They were going to let her go and take me. I felt bad though. but she was retired and she was just using this job as "Atlantic City money",so the bosses said. She had a husband w a good pension, enough money to own 2 houses.... I can't blame her for begging for it though.

So I didn't do anything wrong. The woman was tipped off somehow that I was her replacement (I worked days she didn't work), but there were traces of me, not to mention a new login on her computer with my name. She knew. She begged. She got it. The VP apparently when he called the recruiter said that it took him a few hours to make the call because he felt so guilty and horrible. She said the VPs voice was very telling of this. His voice was very sorrowful, and not the usual fabulousness he normally spoke with. *sigh*

I couldn't believe that happened. I wished that this job would save me. I'm running out of money and have noone left to help me. Only my dad could ever help me. Noone else has money , and even if they do, why would they help ME? After I hung up the phone I sat on some rocks in front of my house and the world went silent. No birds, no people, no construction, no background noise, no waves from the ocean. I heard nothing. I probably zoned out. It was just this eerie weird silence Ih ave never heard before.

I think I lost. I don't know what to do now. I just feel nauseous and numb right now. I know the money is low. I don't know how much further I can go. Please pray for me. and I'm not religious. I really don't know what else to DO.

"Although we've come to the end of the road"

I really hope this isn't my swan song, but I definitely am starting to feel like it is. I've been unemployed for 3 years. I have survived working one low paying, shitty temp job after another. Losing my dignity and every ounce of self worth along the way. I have been treated like the help. Like a slave from the days of Gone with the Wind. I lost my identity. I was no longer me. I was "the temp". I didn't have a name. I didn't have a story. I didn't have a life. I was just a dispensible thing brought in to do a company's dirty work, and then cast aside when they were done w/ me.

My unemployment has exhausted. I won't be eligible for another year again. My father's pension is all that is keeping me going. Thankfully he left it to me. It wasn't much though. I have had nothing but huge gaps between temp jobs. I've worked less in 2011 so far than I ever have. I am running low on money. I have nowhere to go and noone to turn to. I know if I go broke, I'm gona live in the back seat of my car, which I still owe like $1,600 on, so assuming I can work enough to even legally OWN the car.

Last night after I got the news that I wasn't chosen for 2 temp jobs I interviewed for, I looked around at all the things in my apt. I felt like I should start packing. I honestly felt like my days were numbered. I only have enough money to pay the rent thru July. I havne't worked at all this month. It doesn't look like I'll be working next week either. I kinda laughed at the thought of packing though because I have no where to bring my stuff to! If I leave, I would have to just abandon my apt and all my furniture. I will ask someone if they can hold my big screen tv and my flute and piccolo and my important docs. But as far as myself I don't know WHERE I'm gonna go. Noone has room. I am looking at prices on tents today. At least I could sleep stretched out as opposed to in a tight fetal position inthe back seat of my car. I'm too tall to lay down in the car. I have a down comforter for winter, although I hope if I lose m y home I will have gotten a job or placed somewhere before next winter.

I know if I get placed, I'd probably end up in a bed bug ridden roach motel in the hood. I kind of would prefer my car or a tent than anyplace w/ bed bugs! I have no kids though so I don't know who will help me, if anyone will. I am going to go to social services next week and ask abotu my options if I run out of money. I always worried about this, but as my $ drops more and more its becoming more of a reality. I walked up the coast yesterday and appreciated how lucky I've been to live onthe beach. It made me sad to realize that I may have to leave,and have no idea where the HELL I'm gonna go next. I really hoped I'd find work. I had no problem getting temp jobs, but now even those are getting harder and harder to get. I interviewed for a marketing job 3wks ago that pays decently but still have no heard and answer. The recruiter keeps telling me they are gonna make a decision "tomorrow". That was weeks ago. I don't think it's gonna happen. That is my miracle. If I gt that job, I can rebound from this. If Idon't, I'm back to working shitty temp job to shitty temp job and my stress levels will remain on high alert. I'm pretty much in emergency mode now. I'm looking for tents online for god sake! I never thought I'd be homeless. I never thought this would be my life. Now I'm looking it right in the face but I'll fight to the end before I abandon my stuff and set up my new life in the great outdoors/or my car if I can pay it off. I just wish I had someone who could help me. =/

If its the end of the road, I walk it alone. Here goes nothing.

Osama is dead!! Sorry, Will and Kate

Last night, I turned off the tv and lit candles just to reflect on life. On whats coming up. To think of a plan to prevent certain things from happening etc. It helped and I relaxed a little bit. Then I went on Twitter on my phone and saw everyone talking about this "mysterious" address by President Obama any minute. I had no idea what it could be about. I guess part of me hoped it was good news on the economy/job front, but that could never be something that would happen immediately. I decided to watch CNN to see what this "mysterious" address would be about.

The broadcast was delayed a few times, and all the reporters were speculating that it was about them finding Osama bin Laden and killing him. I was a little disappointed for a second, bc again I realy wanted good news about the job situation =/ , but realistically, that isn't gonna happen. So I watched on to see what he said.

Indeed, Osama bin Laden, founder of Al Qaeda, orchestrator of the September 11th Twin Towers attacks was dead. Yay! Good riddance! I don't think they should've killed him just yet but maybe he had one of his rifles that most of those terrorists seem to always have with them at all times, and it was either kill or be killed. I still think they shouldve taken his ass alive, and put him in a cage at ground zero so the people can torment him, spit on him, probably shoot him lol, and other things, then try him and execute his ratty ass. But they did what they did. They say he was in a "mansion" in Pakistan, but then I'm hearing it was a compound. I saw some footage on BBC and it looks like a compound. I don't really assoicate Pakistan w/ opulance.

Of course, his little minions will probably go on a bomb spree against the United States (I'm glad I don't live in NYC anymore!!!) to retaliate, but obviously you know this is gonna happen.

This over eclipses the Royal Wedding between Prince William and Kate Middleton though. But maybe they will like the diversion. It was a nice wedding. I watched a few of the Royal weddings but this one was watched on an HDTV big screen tv (probably the smartest purchases Ive made in the last few years). It was awesome in Hi Def.

Will and Kate are going to move to the island of Anglesea in Wales where he will work as a helicopter, search and rescue pilot for 2 more years. No doubt Kate will pop out a baby while up there. What else is she gonna do? It's all good in the world. Well if you're in the Royal Family of England it is.

For me, things aren't going too good. I'm almost broke. I'm living off of savings from my fathers pesion that I was beneficiary of. Thank god he left it to me. Otherwise I don't think I couldve made it. My UE is done. I'll be re-elligable in a year I think. And I'm working one low paying temp job after another. I've had 2wk or so gaps between jobs, making me have to pull from savings. I have very little left. I interviewed for a Marketing job last week and am hoping I get it. It was pretty much exactly what I used to do before. I 'm definitely qualified to do it, but it depends how the other people did I guess. No answer yet. I hope they give me one soon. I really do need to work this week. I was offered a long term data entry temp job. I really hate data entry. Its so tedious and exhausting and it makes you want to bang your head against the wall. But if I dont' get the marketing job, I will have to do it. Noone really jumps at data entry jobs, not even in the temp world. And understandably so. Its really for us desperate fools to do. Because we will do anything to keep a roof over our heads.

I still owe $1645 on my car. I do have the money to pay it off but I'm afraid to. What if I don't work this month and I can't pay June's rent? So I'm gonna have to drag it on. Hoping I can hold on til its paid off. My car payment is so expensive! I can also live on less income once the car is paid (providing it doesn't crap out on me, but its 5yrs old and its a Toyota so I'm hoping it'll go the distance). I put alot of maintenence work into it when I had extra money to prevent issues down the road. Just got a tune up and all the other shti on the engine cleaned up and tweaked. I need tires but thaqt'll have to wait a while. Thats not a powertrain issue. I think June will be my last car payment.

But yeah, I'm almost broke. I really really hope I don't actually hit rock bottom but I'm so close. I need a job. DESPERATELY. I hope I get some good news soon. Otherwise I better buy a tent cuz its safer than the homeless shelter and more spacious than the back seat of my car. =/ I will look into pricing them very soon.

Carnegie Hall / James Galway Performance

Tonight was definitely another memorable moment in my life. I got to go to Carnegie Hall tonight to see Sir James Galway , probably one of the greatest flute virtuosos of all time! I am also a flute player, and I really admire him, and wish I could play even half as good as him. I found out about this show by accident though.

One night, I couldn't sleep, pissed off about some drama going on w/ my father's estate, his bank, my bank, his pension, etc. So I was looking up random stuff that came into my head. I happened to watch a performance of Clair de Lune, by James Galway, and then I just looked him up in general to see what interesting things I could read about him. The Carnegie Hall website came up among the results, but didn't say he was playing. I got side tracked and wondered who was playing at Carnegie Hall. I never went there and was curious if anyone I knew of would be there since I have a little extra money these past 2 weeks.

Ironically enough, James Galway was playing this Saturday (March 12, 2011)!! I really didn't want to go so soon though. There was something else I could've done that day, but I thought about it for a whole 5 seconds (I'm very impulsive), and after looking on Galway's website, and seeing he'd be touring the world after this and wouldn't be back around here til.... well his calendar doesn't go that far out, I decided to buy a ticket.

There were discounted seats in the Parquet (what Carnegie Hall calls the "orchestra") but I hate being there. I like box seats. I'm a diva who always [tries to, at least]get what she wants. ,but there was NOTHING in the first two tiers on the side of the stage, where I like to sit when I go to concerts. Any concerts. My bank issue w/ my dad's estate thing was still going on, so I couldn't even buy the damn ticket for 3 days after. I had to WAIT, and I don't wait. *stamps foot*. If I want something, Iwant it NOW! I will go to great legnths to get it now. I let it go for this. On the third day, a seat opened up in the first tier right on the side of the stage. It was more expensive and had no discount. I got it anyway. Glad I did. I had such a great view.

So the day of the performance comes. Of course I sleep all day. I guess I needed it. All I really did was get up, shower, cook, watch a little tv, and it was time to go. I deposited my shitty little paycheck and jumped on the train at a station that is a little safer than the one I usually go to (which is closer by 1 minute). Big Mistake. I made it to the train with moments to spare. What did you expect? I'm a procrastinator! The train was late too. Whew. Got on and the trip felt like it took FOREVER! I had my iPod on but I'm really not a fan of long trips in general. I'm too fidgety and I hate sitting still.

Needless to say, I arrived in New York early. I decided to walk to Carnegie Hall. People thought I was crazy. I needed the exercise. Then I side tracked from the 25 block walk and walked 3 extra avenues east, and the same 3 back, making my walk about 50 city blocks (equiv.). No biggie. I have done that before when I lived in NY. I havent' walked alot lately due to temping and me running myself ragged handling my dad's estate, so such a long walk definitely killed my feet. I brought flats w/ me and changed into heels at Carnegie Hall.

I walked up there, got my ticket at Will Call. They told me to go to the museum. I really just had to pee and wanted to do it in a CLEAN bathroom. I figured Carnegie Hall would be clean. They really wanted me to go to the damn museum, so I did. Cool stuff in there. Autographs, instruments, programs, ticket stubs. Then I found the bathroom (clean!) and went to my box. Damn, Carnegie Hall is so nice! Its not big at all, but its very ornate and makes you feel like you were in the era when it was built. I have pictures of the venue, and Sir James here:
by Gitana621

After the show, I wanted to go to Bamn! It's an Automat that was on Food Network. Automats were popular in the 50s and Bamn was supposed to be a new age automat with real food and a real chef with tiny portions of different food. I wanted to try their famous mac and chese croquettes. I went down to where it was, walked up and down the avenues and NADA. I asked one of the many drunk college kids in the area (it's near NYU, and arent NYU kids supposed to be SMART?!), and they said they think Bamn was shut down. I wasted $5 on the metrocard ride, so I bought a slice of pizza and took it back to 34th street where I ate my cold slice on a bench in front of Macys (the REAL Macys in Herald Sq), not the bullshit one at your local mall. I heard about fires in my town again and tried to get ahold of people hoping it wasn't my house that caught fire. FInally my neighbor got back to me.

In Penn station, my train home was supposed to be at 1am. I realized today was daylight savings time and you move the clocks forward. So did that mean my train was coming at 12? Because 12 would really be 1... Dunno. The cop there said just get on whatever train you can. Because the 1am train was the last one and I don't have a place to crash in NYC anymore since one person moved away and the other passed away =( , I HAD to get back to NJ. Got on the 12am train. It didn't go all the way to my stop. Every other train goes past Long Branch. This train didn't go further than that. I was gonna wait for the original train, but I was getting bored and impatient (really? me?! haha) and was pretty sure I'd just get a cab to the station where my car was (near home). I live near 2 stations and one is shady at night, so I went to the other one. I got a cab with another dude who was going to the same station, who also didn't want to wait for the next train, an hour later. We talked in the cab, but it was hard to cuz the driver was on his cell phone speaking Pakistani or whatever since over there it was like 2pm.

Finally got home and I wanted to write this now, before I lost my motivation, as I tend to do, after I sleep. My night didn't end how I expected it to, but I'm glad I popped my Carnegie cherry and got to see James Galway. I definitely want to see him again. Hopefully if he is a soloist with a symphony or something. I hate going to NYC from the Jersey Shore. I'm doing it one more time next month for my friend's bday, but I will make sure I park my car in Long Branch. I would def go back to Carnegie Hall, especially to see them perform some Shostakovich stuff (one of my 2 fave composers). But we'll see. This trip was such a hassle. I wish it wasn't. lol

Check out my video of clips of Sir James Galway.

Anthony Bourdain

Reserved for the blog I still haven't written, but need to. I just want everything to be in the correct order. I'll be back!

$488/mo Commute to be a ...........

So today I get a call from a rectruiter in Philadelphia. At first I figured she was gonna try to get me to commute to Philly to work (not gona work on what I'm making, and the fact that my car has about 115,000 miles on it (ven thought its not old!)), but i asnwered her call and she said she found my resume on [Well known Job Site] and wanted to submit me to a receptionist job in NY.

Knowing what receptionists get paid, I was cautious, but asked the salary anyway. It was $10=15/hr. I told her $10 is out of the question, as my commute will cost $488 a month without a metrocard. Even $15 may not be enough, since thats pretty much the bare minimum I can live on, but once you add hte almost $500 commute to NYC, plus an 80 something dollar monthly metrocard, it'd be stupid to go up there to work. I did say if it were a higher level job, along the lines of what I used to do - Mortgages, Finance and Marketing that paid sig. higher, I'd consider it. But I think its a no go. Too bad. Another friend asked me the same thing today but I'm waiting to hear details from her. Spending 3h commuting to NYC everyday, although drastic, would be a reality if I was really gonna make money that I just couldn't make here. Unfortunatelyl, noone wants to pay any kind of good salary. I'm better off as a temp here doing my tedious, back intensive work. Well see what happens.

I don't want to be a receptionist but.. I have a feeling if I EVER get a job again, it's gonna be smething along those lines, since mid level jobs and 40K plus salaries are now a thing of the past.

In the meantime, I am enjoying some Chicken teriyaki I got from Osaka. Mmmmmm. Then rest time. i'm going to Carnegie Hall on Sat to see Sir James Galway (famous flute virtuoso). Should be exciting.

I'll have to try to write a blog about my first time in Carnegie Hall.

Un Fuerte Applauso Para Ti

Last night I had to play piccolo with the band. I didn't feel like the reharsal was going great because the vents were blowing cold air on us the whole night and it was so hard to tune. If you're not a musician you probably don't even know what I mean. Whatever. Not relevant. Anyway, the director made us play the Stars & Stripes Forever at the end. I was like "ughhhhh". Anyway I figured I need to start playing it publically by myself to get ready for the May 7th show. I did it. It was decent. I'd be happy if I played it that way in the concert. When I was done, because I made 3 mistakes (small ones but still), I just looked at the director, waiting for the verdict. I had no idea if he was gonna be critical, or tell me it was ok. Sometimes he's hard to read. Then everyone in the band applauded. I was SO SHOCKED. Noone ever did that before. I just wanted to write this, not to brag, but to add this to my list of memorable moments in life lol. I still can't get over that they applauded...in rehearsal no less. Wow. It definitely closed the day in a good way though. I hope I do just as well in the concert! *fingers crossed*

Piccolo - Is it a crime?

And no, I'm not talking about a Noise Violation. I just wanted to vent about my dilemma in trying to practice my piccolo. It seems like no matter how I try to practice, I get blocked, interrupted, bitched at, interrogated etc.. I feel like its a crime sometimes to play this tiny, yet annoying to some, instrument.

First a little background...

For people who don't know, the piccolo is the highest pitched instrument in an orchestra. Its pitched higher than the flute, but looks just like a mini version of it. Most piccolists have to practice with earplugs if they don't want to damage their ears. I stuff pieces of napkins in my ears, which helps alot, but I should have real earplugs.

I didn't really play it too much. I mostly play flute. I played in the summer band in my town on marches, because theres a woman who plays picc on the rest of the songs who is amazingly good and she def deserves to play. You only have a day and a half from rehearsal to concert in that band. Me being a terrible sight reader, I don't think I am even good enough to play picc in that band. But anyone with a picc (there are 3 others) can play on marches. So thats when I play. Summers only. I practice once, if I have time. If not, I play flute for the whole thing. No problems. No hassles.

Occasionally I played in the other band I'm in. In 2008 I played Stars and Stripes Forever with the piccolo player at the time, who was in High School, and was told I had to play when she missed rehearsal, which was kinda frequently. I don't think I practiced at all tho then. lol. This year, the current picc player is going to be out of town for our last concert and I was asked to play. I said I would, but I also felt like the director put me in a very bad position, as he expected me to rehearse w/ the band (he made an incorrect announcement that i was playing picc the whole season - which I wasn't), but I had to figure out how to do it and split the time w/ the current picc player. They asked me if I just wanted to play the whole time and I said I didn't want to screw over the girl who's playing now. Cuz its not fair. I missed a show last season for my cruise, and I wouldn't like if I was ousted off flute for it! I said I'll just cover for her. Thats it. I'll be able to play in OG band and the one show and I am thankful for that.

Anyway, I played picc w/ the band a few weeks ago, and I'm playing again tomorrow. That means I really have to know this stuff, inside and out. Before when I was temping, going to school every night and trying to study, it worried me that I wasn't able to dedicate the time to this like I'd like to. I almost backed out. Alotta things were going wrong in my life (as usual) that I had to dedicate alot of time, effort and energy to fix, and I didn't know if I should be playing picc. Then I thought that they were going to be upset w/ me if I backed out. I rearraged some things during the evenings so that I would be less exhausted and run around less. But where was I gonna practice?

THIS is the problem. I live in a house that is divided up into apartments. All of the neighbors are ALWAYS home. Except for the girl down the hall. People have complained. The landlord mentioned something about it, although he said I had a right to play, which I do. But the flute is one thing. Its a soprano instrument, and isn't THAT high unless you really get up into the 3rd octave. The flute can be drowned out, more or less if you crank up your tv. Which almost all my neighbors told me they do. lol But the piccolo can't be drowned out. At all. Its loud. Its shrill. Its high. Its annoying. Its deafening.

Trying to play when you know how annoying it is is hard. (at home). It really discourages me from practicing. I had practiced in my car last year when I was working on the Stars and Stripes before a concert, and I decided to resort to that method again. So, where was I gonna go?

Usually I go to a park, or a school after hours. The problem is you look "suspicious" sitting there. If I practice at a park that noone is at, all of a sudden people start coming. They walk their dogs, they walk straight up to my car (i guess they hear the music? I play along w/ youtube mobile). People are so damn nosy! So many old ladies with their dogs, mothers with children walk right up to my car and look in the window as I'm playing. Then I stop cuz its too weird. I get really annoyed because I feel like I have no privacy whatsoever, at home or outside. And I really just want to play, get it done, and go home. Its winter. Its cold. I don't leave the car on when I play, so I don't waste gas. And I'm NOT giving you a private concert!

Whether I'm at home or in a park, and there are people around, i'm always heard. If I get a new piece and I butcher it, everyone hears me butcher it. If some high notes aren't coming out that day, everyone hears that. If I repeat a line of music over and over and over trying to play it better, everyone hears it. People call me and say "I heard you playing [blablablaaa] song before..." Am I wrong for feeling fed up of constantly having to put on a show for people? Not everything I play is show worthy yet. I play alot of karaoke tracks by ear w /no music. Sometimes I do ok,sometimes I bomb it. Although I do those on flute. Never picc, but I'm still heard regardless. I just .......don't want to be heard. Thats what it comes down to.

So I go in my car to practice picc. I manage to get a show runthrough down wherever I go. And I can work on some things, but it gets kind of cold to work on TOO many things. I scare the geese when I play my picc....which was actually funny lol. But one thing I've had an issue with were COPS.

Last weekend, I was practicing at a school. Noone was there. Just the geese, who don't bitch about the noise.I ran throught hte show, high note scared them off towards the end *shrug*, and a cop car pulls up and sits about 7 spaces away from me. I stopped playing for a min, hoping he'd leave. He didn't . Then he drove by (probably scanning my plate), and drove by again. I was getting cold and I hadn't eaten lunch yet so I had to do the stars and stripes a few times before I went grocery shopping (the next errand on my list). I had to ignore the cop and just do what I came here to do. I played the S&S picc solo about 15 times and when I was done, the cop was gone. *whew*. Even with the cop there, I had an audience. I'm TIRED of having an audience.

Several other times were at parks, and I got curious onlookers w/ dogs and kids looking in my windows, w/ me giving "WTF looks" at them lol. But I had to deal w/ it. Today I know I had to practice, because I'm playing picc w/ the band tomorrow night and althought I practiced Friday, I wanted to do one more sesh today. I was having trouble thinking of a place to go. I have very little gas, and no money til the next check so I couldnt' drive too far to a park. I found a spot off the boardwalk that was kind of off to the side. I hoped that not too many people would go by me. It seemed like a good spot. I did another show runthrough and there were a few nosy ass people who drove by and slowed down to stare *shakes head*. Once again, it was time to do the Stars & Stripes picc solo and who comes along but another COP! Ugh. This was a different location, different town. I stopped playing again, because its just AWKWARD when a cop car is parked right behind you in the middle of the road obviously scanning your plate! He just sat there for a while. It was getting really cold, and I have to do the S&S at the end of every practice session a few times, so I decided to just play. The cop pulled up right next to me and got out. I stopped now because I had to tell him what I was doing. He asked me why Iwas sitting here. As dumb as it sounds, I told him I had to practice in my car due to my living situation. He looked suspcious, as usual. My music was clipped onto my steering wheel, and I showed him my picc. He told me someone in the condos nearby thought someone was doing drugs in this car. *roll eyes*. I guess they thought my picc was some kinda pipe or something. That you........hold........sideways? I told the cop, I dont do drugs, and he can search my car if he wants to. I was just trying to practice where noone was around, but OBVIOUSLY no such place exists around here. He looked in the window and saw music all over the place and said he doubted there was drug activity here and said "have a nice day." Ugh. Now I feel like I can't park there and practice anymore because people are thinking I'm doing drugs. So............ for the next time I gotta find a new place to go. I feel like its a crime to play an instrument, however weird playing in a car may be, I gotta do what I gotta do. If I don't practice, I get ousted. I feel like I need to rent out studio time just to git 'er done. And I can't afford to so... back to the drawing board. I wish I could afford to rent a house. This way I can play and noone will hear me. No concerts, no criticism, no bitching, no trained monkey.

That's all. Just needed to get that out.

First Day of Nursing Lab

So after 2 long years of waiting, I got into the Nursing program at my college. Temping has been challening along with school,and since temping has to come first (for financial reasons), I've dropped alot of classes just so I can have enough brain power to stay awake while driving on the parkway. Cuz I wasn't doing such a good job with that last year.

Financial aid says I have to take 2 classes to keep getting it. I need my fin aid refund check as a safety net in this damn economy, so i signed up for 2, but then I have to drop it soon. Unless I can get into an online course. The nurse course I'm taking is too demanding to take with any other classes if you work full time.

I'm really excited, assuming I pass this program and become a nurse. We did some pharmacology today and dosing. I hate math. But every nurse instructor has said they are horrible at math too. I guess i see a trend. If they can do it, so can I. I just need more time figuring it out. I get the concept. Its not hard. Its figuring where to put things in the equation is my issue. I have all weekend to grill myself tho. Unit 1 test is in a week and a half already. If you fail, you could fail the class. You have 3 math tests seprarately that you have to get a 90 on to pass. I dont think I've EVER gotten a 90 on a math test ever! So this worries me.

I'll be at Riverview Hospital til May 23, and can go any night to practice or work with an instructor who is there during certain hours. There is also math tutoring, which I may have to sign up for, assuming theres time in my schedule to do it.

And at the end of the day, I still do my music. I am ,afterall, an artiste once I enter Casa de Heather. An artiste of many art forms: music, interior design, cosmetology, hair design (learning!), drawing, painting and musical improvisation. This is my EVERYTHING. Its what I LOVE! Its what I don't need money to DO (minus interior design but you can just draw out what you want to convey then). The artiste in me will never leave. And as much as people tell me to quit band for the next 5-6 years while you pursue nursing, I tell them this....

I love what I do. Not many people can s ay that. Too bad I dont get paid for it. But nevertheless I still love it. To become a nurse I have my temp jobs against me, not willing to lighten up the hours, I have less money to pay the out of pocket expenses that drained my credit card last week, i have little free time from working and attending class, driving home from class, cookign dinner, eating dinner, showering,cleaning up a little so I can study (by now its pushing 12). The odds of me becoming a nurse are 1 in 4. Possibly 5. The nurse instructors even tell me that if i have to temp to survive, and you never know what you'll be doing or where you'll be temping and you can't risk losing that job, maybe come back when things get better. But if things got pbetter, I'd probably get a job in marketing or finance again and get a good salary again and say eff this nurse thing. even tho its what I wanted to do.

In the end, whether I pass or fail the nursing curriculum, I will always be...... and will remain until my last breath exits my body..............an artiste!

Culinary Discoveries: Post-Mother

I think in alot of households, you learn to cook from your mother (although nowadays its not so common. People order out or eat oversalted tv dinners). Your mothers favorite dishes become yours in your adult/family life. I have to say that for me, that sooooo wasn't the case!

To start with the photo at the top, Filet Mignon in a cherry-cabernet reduction sauce is definitely something that is higher on the culinary challenges than boiling pasta, and dumping a jar of ragu on top of it. That is the next venture that I am going to try to cook. I wanted to compare and contrast some things that my mother made, to the things I make now that are soooo different.

This steak above, is just a regular store bought steak. Possibly a small London Broil seasoned with salt pepper, and garlic powder. Yeah it tastes good. But... something was missing. Perhaps FLAVOR! Also my mother made everything well done. I hadn't discovered RARE meat (lamb/steak) until I was in my early 20s going to the Columbia University Hospital Christmas Party with my friends' mom every year when I ate my first bloody piece of filet mignon. My mouth watered like the carnivore that I am, and it was love at first taste. I never cooked a piece of meat well done again! I didnt know what I was missing all those years! So many juicy flavors! Mmmmm I'm getting hungry just thinking about this.

Here are some other comparisons from my childhood meals in the 1980s NJ, compared with my favorite meals that I cook NOW in 2010-2011.

[Food] [Why]

Ramen Noodles Cheap

[My version/substitute]

Kraft Cheese and Macaroni. Its still cheap but tastes better. Plus you can combine it w/ any left over meat, add bbq, sweet and sour sauce or eat with pigs ina blanket (a fave of mine if I'm looking for a super cheap meal)

[Food] [Why]

Hotdogs Cheap and they have protein

[My Version]

Miso glazed chicken drumsticks. Get a light miso, season, throw in toaster oven or broiler. Done in 15min. MUCH better tasting than hotdogs and more high end..

[Food]

Spaghetti with Franceso Rinaldi Sauce Straight outta the jar over it.

[Why]

Cheap and easy to make. The sauce is supposedly seasoned already. It claims it is but...eh

[My Version]

Linguini (flat pasta picks up sauce more) with Amatriciana sauce. I found out about this sauce on the show "No Reservations" with Anthony Bourdain. I fucking love that man!!! OMG I won tickets to see him on Feb 10th too! I can't wait! He's so funny. He's a chef, who travels and talks about whatever during his travel in the country he's in. If you don't watch it, DO IT! Its on Monday nights at 10 on the Travel Channel. Amatriciana sauce, as I got from the episode (and added tweaks of my own) is Vodka sauce (preferably a higher grade one. They taste better!), 4 tablespoons of olive oil in a pan, a whole bulb (may not be for everyone but I'm accustomed to indian level spice by now) of garlic, minced, sauteed in the olive oil, oregano, basil, pepper, sea salt, onion powder, crushed red pepper for SPICE, if you're a spice lover like me, and sundried tomatos. Combine all that in a pan and cook. Add about 1/2 cup of a dry sherry (with a woody tone). When you are done, mix in fresh parsley, or sprinkle it on top of your dish. I also add chicken to this and sautee the chicken in the garlic and olive oil first, then add everything else. Plain pasta with Franceso Rinaldi sauce is so boring and bland compared to the foods I've eaten since those days. My amatriciana sauce is the best. I think its suppsed to be made with anchoivies but I dont like fish so i omitted them and added garlic.

[Food] [Why]

Shake n Bake Pork Chops Easy to make. shake in a bag and throw in oven.

[My Version]

12 different spices to form a dry rub- salt, pepper, oregano,paprika, seasoning salt, parsley, cajun seasoning, crushed red pepper, caeynne pepper, garlic powder, onion powder, cumin. Mix all togethber in a dry bin and rub the spice onto a wet piece of meat. Cook wrapped in tin foil slowly at 250deg and you'll have a nice juicy flavorful (shake and bake with 75xmore flavor than the real shake and bake.

I'm getting tired so lemme just do some another way....

She made chicken parmigiana. I basically make it the same way. No change, except I garnish my plate before I sit down to eat because I am artisitcally inclined and would like to present my food welll. I genereally dont eat sauce on the pasta since I'm kind of over with sauce. As long as the parm has sauce on it, I'm good. I salt the pasta with sea salt in the pot which gives it a nice zing.

Pork Roast. My mother used to just put that honey/soy marinade on it and cook it. It was good. I can make that too, altho I use vietnamese light soy and more honey to balance the acidity of the flavors.

I also put hoisin and sake (rice wine) you can ge it at the liquor store and bake it and it gives it a chinese spareib taste with a twist.

Another thing I can do is make a soy, sherry ginger and cinnemon marinade with chives and shallots, marinade it, bake it on low temp and have an exotic south asian (thai vietnamese or indonesian) flavor to the roast.

Hamburgers. She would cook them in a greasy pan. Sean with Garlic/onion powder and pop em on our plate. I make them on the grill season with the same (since garlic falls off), cook em mediumrare, put honey smokehouse from jack daniels sauce on them, toast the bun and serve. All my friends loved them.

Meatloaf. Not a fan. Never was. Someting about meatlof makes me nauseous. I prefer to get a whole chicken and season it with lemon pepper seasonings, cook it then serve with lipton herb and butter rice. I dont know how to make that stuff but its great.

Noodle Roni. That is made from Rice A Roni, just for pasta. You add milk and margerine to a packet of powder and pasta and it becomes a meal. For those I would just say I can make 3 different sauces on my own for you.

Carbonara Sauce - Margerine, chicken stock, flour, garlic, 2 thin chicken cutlets, add heavy cream, 1/2 cup of grated parmesean cheese, pepper, fresh parsley. You get a much more high end result and it is restaurant grade.

Basil Cream Garlic Sauce- Margerine, garlic, 1/2cheese, heavy cream, bunches of basil leaves depending how much flavor you want. i like alot. simmer and serve

Alfredo Sauce - heavy cream, half stick of butter, one raw egg, mixed in1/2cheese or less to get thickness you want. Parsley to garnish.

That's all I can think of. But the way we cook is very different. I notice alot of people feed their kids a hotdog, and peas and carrots, or a pb&j sandwich, or some cereal. Sometimes chicken lightly seasoned or marinaded in italian dressing. I do know people personally around my age who love to cook and it shows, since they are performing more upscale dishes than the typical person. If I ever get to have kids, my kids are gonna hate eating over their friends houses cuz I'm so accustomed to this type of cooking (thanks Top Chef!) and the fact that culinary arts has become one of my hobbies and I enjoy creating new dishes. They are probaly not gonna wanna eat anything at their friends houses. So be it though. You only live once. The way things are going economic wise, terrorist wise, and astronomically wise, who knows how much longer we'll have left. Just live like each day is your last! Get some change into your diet.

KGB is stalking me ♪♫

I am so glad I live in a country that allows the freedom of speech. If I were in the old Communist Russia, somebody would've come lookin' for me, and I would've disappeared in the middle of the night, never to be head from again, where I'd likely be shot execution style in a black sedan with blacked out windows, or thrown in some gulag to rot and die.



About every 3 months, congress threatens to stop unemployment. Every time it puts us on edge about how we are going to make ends meet. They stopped extensions a few months ago. I watched a friend lose her home and move out of state where she knows noone because she had no other choice. Another friend is thinking of doing the same. I know I could be next. Except I wouldn't move. Where the hell am I gonna go??? I said I'd stay here til the bitter end. I still have some fight left in me. I worked too hard to get to the shore and i'm not leaving without a fight. Though I'm generally considered a failure to my other working, young professional friends, who are living in (it seems) the lap of luxury, shopping, new cars, exotic vacays, buying houses, remodeling kitchens (seems like every single person is doing this!!!!!) getting married, investing in stocks and so on...., I have to keep on trucking with my loser self and survive. Its easier to be around people who don't have as much money, and I can say "I'm broke" without being looked down on. I was doing ok for a while, but I'm about to dip into poverty once again. I did in June, and again in Sept.



Congress reinstated the UE benefits but now is talking of lowering NJ's UE payout because its "too high" and doesnt give incentive for people to get back to work. For this, I must rant...

There are not enough JOBS for the 10% of this population to get back to work. So punishing everyone else just because a small few sit home and collect and dont look for work is not fair. There is no way every single person, or even an acceptable portion of them will return to work. Where are they gonna work? Who is hiring?And I speak from experience that when you apply to a low level, unskilled job, you most likely will not get called. Some of those jobs wouldn't even pay the bills anyway. Sometimes you may be better off on UE waiting for a job that will cover the expenses. If you can meet all your expenses on UE, and a job calls you wanting to pay you half of the UE, and you know you'll lose your home if you take it, um.....what would most people do? WAIT for something else! I mean if you have UE. If you don't, you have to take it and hope Burger King will hire you for the night shift. I can't even get a min. wage job either! I've applied at every place around here. No callbacks. None whatsoever.

I am sickened that people are always trying to punish the unemployed. Using threats to get them back to work. They dont want to borrow from the federal government anymore to fund UE, but when the UE'd people reach the end of the line, they will apply for welfare, housing assistance, section 8, medicaid and other assistance programs. Someone will need to pay to house these people who can't pay their rent/mortgage anymore. Someone will need to put them in shelters, hotels, affordable housing. Someone will need to feed these people. Someone will need to foot the bills for the kids to get vaccinated and see Drs. Someone will have to pay for training programs to get these people jobs (which don't exist anyway). Who will be paying for that if NJ exhausted its money? THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT.



I have temped during this time and I have met many temps who have told me they lost everything. Their home, their car, their children. Have no credit. Bankrupt. Sleeping on a friend's couch until the friend gets tired of them there. Can't even afford to keep a car on the road (insurance/gas) to look for a job. So many people have these stories. I know I could be one of those people. I have tried to work as much as I could, doing the shittiest of the shitty jobs you can think of. I've been treated like an idiot. Like I had no capacity to do anything but rip paper, or file. I've lost my dignity. Why? To survive! The last thing I want now is for congress to pull the rug out from under me and punish me for not finding a real job by cutting my UE down in size. I dont know what my new UE will be in Aug. Iread an article today that says that it is now 2/3 of the previous income (which in my case was low paying temp jobs). Before it was 60%. So it should be slightly higher. I was worried my new UE would be too low to live. It may be. I wasn't able to score a temp job over $14/hr this year. Last year I did. It just seems like theres never any rest if you're unemployed. You are always left to worry every few months, while you see people around you prospering and succeeding. I can't seem to get past that though. I hate watching my friends succeed while I fail. But there's no hope. I used to be successful too. Used to be.



The next 2 months will be very tense ones as I await my fate of my new UE payout in April, and to see if I get an extension to cover me from Feb 9 when my UE runs out til April when my new claim starts up (since I worked I get a new claim). And congress will probably throw in a few more attempts to stop UE or cut it down I'm sure. This country is going to hell. I dont' know how we're gonna get out of this. I refuse to live this way. I want to live comfortably. I want to work. I'll work my ass off. I'm not lazy. As long as I'm bringing home $, and I can survive on it, I'll do whatever it takes. Becoming a nurse will take YEARS since Unemployment blocked me from taking too many classes at a time. I'm no longer allowed to go full time. Even at night. I feel like they are trapping me in the system. They want me off UE, but every time I think of a way to gET off, they block me from doing it. I'll be on for a while. I dont plan to stop working. They have to pay me UE as long as I work. Its cheaper to let me have my way. Its your loss though, Uncle Sam. Your loss.




In other news...
I had a good Xmas. First xmas I didn't spend alone!!! Yay! Hung out w/ one friend on Xmas Eve, and 2 more on Xmas day. The day after xmas wasn't so great.

There was a huge snowstorm that dumped 3 feet of snow onto the Jersey Shore (I'm not exaggerating). From Dec 26, 2010, to Dec 31, 2010, I was stuck in my apt. Unable to go anywhere. My apt is small. I hate being locked up in small spaces. Day 2 I was able to hop down the street in crotch high snow to the end of the block to see if that street was plowed, and hop back. It sucked all the energy out of me.


This is my car on the second night of snow imprisonment. I am walking on frozen snow in the middle of my street, and looking down at my car which is burried up to the windows almost. My car is high off the ground compared to most cars.

Below is my street, looking back towards my house from my car. 3ft of snow in the street.



On New Years Eve the plow finally came through. Our township (Neptune) probably couldn't plow us out because they cut costs and couldn't pay people to do it. Our mayor repeatedly said on the website that plows would be thru the town by the morning. Every morning there was nothing. We had plows come from Maryland to get us out. My town was on the news for its pathetic snow clearing plan. Neptune itself is kinda ghetto and thats why I'm not surprised. My portion, is actually a part of Neptune but is not ghetto.
My message to you!

Once again, glad I'm not in communist Russia. Or someone'd be knockin on my door tonight and I'd never be heard from again. My blog is becoming commonplace for anti-government rants.