So as some of you know, my father, who I just called 'Joe' (we weren't a typical family to say the least) passed away after 4 yr battle with complications from lung cancer.He did survive the lung cancer, but his health declined, and he was in and out of the hospital non stop for respitory issues. His lungs gave out on November 10, 2010 around 2pm ish. My cousin and I didn't make it to the hospital in time.
This isnt' a tribute. I'll do one later once all this bullshit is finished, but I just wanted to rant actually.
I knew it wasn't going to be easy planning a funeral at age 30. Even though age 30 is when alot of your parents start to die. I had NO idea where to start, what to do, where to go, what was needed from his papers and from me. I asked some friends who have been thru it before and they gave me good advice. But unfortunately they didnt know enought to guide me thru the whole process....which has been rather exhausting.
My family are usless, except for about 7 cousins , but they're not offering to help. My uncle (bible toter clan) and aunt are great for making demands that a priest come and all that, but they dont want to pay for it.........figures. Then The funeral home gave me the cost breakdown , and it was $2000 more than what his life insurance covered. And we didnt have a wake! So I said "no deal." Well have to cremeate him then and I'll decide what happens cuz Id ont have that kind of money. A few hours later he called back and offered me another breakdown of costs where my portion was $200. Much better, asshole!
The funeral itself went off without a problem. I got his millitary papers faxed tot he right department so he could have the millitary funeral/salute/gunfire/and flag ceremony,which occupied the time. Usually they have a priest doing ...whatever he does. Teh bible toters said they now wanted THEIR priest (who was dressed like a monk) to do it but they had no money. Grrrrr............... of-course-they-did-nt! >=/
So I reached into my own wallet to pull out money for the priest I didn't even want. THEY wanted him. They can't cope w/ him not getting the catholic blessings or whatever. I wasn't happy after that one. But family does that. At least mine does. Now you know why I don't spend holidays with them. It gets worse but we won't go there now!
So after the funeral, I have been waiting for the death certificate which I was told was gona be ''in the mail'' by the funeral director. A week passed, nothing. Another week, I called. They said they're working on getting it to me soon. I let it slide cuz I had a nother week or two. Then last week I called agian. THey said they wanted my uncle to have his first since he is the life insurance beneficiary. MEANING if the uncle doesn't get his certificate, the funeral home doesn't get paid. OH NO....we wouldn't want that, would we? =( *roll eyes*, So I restated that all my dad's t hings are HERE in NJ. and I am here in NJ. And I am the one who has to empty storage, which is definitey a challenge , and his apartment, which I have to see what shape the gold digger left it in. I'm sure she didn't clean it. She probalby just grabbed her shit and ran.
The cable company wont stopcharging him til they get the cable box, modem and phone stuff out cuz it belongs to them , and when i went into the rental office, the girl told me that unless my name is listed as "in case of emergency" on the lease, i have no power and can't get in. Only the name listed can get in. That is my bibletoting uncle who will not come down here. He's old nad not ablebodied to empty out a house full o furniture. I'm semi able bodied, nad I know I can do it, but I'll be so sore I probably wont be able to MOVE the next two days, but i'll plan for that in my schedule.
I asked the girl how I can get a death certificate. She tells me to go to New Burnswick's Admin building. Then another girl said NO, go to oldbridge municipal offices and get the cert there, but they are $10 ea and you'll need between 10 and 20 of them. UGhhhhhhhh thats alot of money and I haven't temped in weeks! The other girl says I have to go to New Brunswick and ask for power of attorney of the judge. I have to bring the death cert w/ me. Now I'm sure this will not go smoothly as noone answered the phone there this afternoon so i can verify what exactly I need to bring with me. I'm gonna bring his whole briefcase w/ papers and all my papers I can think of.
Problem is, i can't get the death cert without MY birth cert! I had 4 copies here. 2 in my hiding spot, and 2 were in his briefcase. I saw them several times. Tonight NONE of them were there. I looked like 6 or 7 times in each place, tore apart the area under my breakfast bar, looked in the tool box and storage tub and NOTHING. Not one birth certificate. Soooooo I basically have to go to New Brunswick to get my BC,then go back to Old Bridge to get a fw of his Death Certs, then go back to Court in New Brunswick and ask the judge if they willl give me power of attorney. (they could say no), if they do, and i have the papers, THEN I can finally start closing things out. I snuck into storage this afternon to get some of that going. I dont need these people telling me i cna't be in there when alot of the stuff instorage is MINE and I had the key all along and I went to storage w/ out him for years. So, being the rebel that I am, I just went in and got to work. Of course the closed off the dumpsters behind fences and locks (wtf?!) and a sign saying "Please do not dump out side of the dumpsters, or a pick up fee will be assessed to your account." Um.....well why don't you OPEN them up so we CAN dispose of things properly??I have about 2hrs worth of work tomorow in storage and then its done. i'll keep the lock and use it for my kayak so I don't have to buy a new one so that'll work. I took whaqtever was mine (threw alot out tho) and my next task is his apartment. I have no idea what state this woman left the apt in. Regardless I'm gonna clean up the mess. If I do, I get $500 of his security. They're gonna pay DEcember's rent out of his security no matter what.
This is where I'm at at this point in time. So far from finished. I also need to know who needs the official cert adn who can just be faxed one. Each official seal is $10. IF I really need $20 that is gonna clean me out and frankly, it'll have to wait til I am able to fit it in my budget. Luckally I have no family to buy Christmas gifts for, but I have bills to pay, and of course mounting medical bills have no end in sight. I hope all the bad stuff w/ me is over for a while until I find a job and health insurance!
I was out all day long tending to whatever I could, then going to school. Tomorrows another day. Gonna do the court system tomorrow even though it loooks like I'm gonna be all over Middlesex County all day long.
One thing that makes me smirk is.... my uncle thinks he's power of attorney because my dad's little letter to the gold digger says so. But theres no will and my uncle doesn't have the letter. So I'm about to become power of attorney. Meaning when his pension payout happens, maybe it wont go to probate. And I can say where it goes. Course my mother will probably be all up in my kool aid trying to get a handout. She needs to go find someone else to give her a handout but she never gets it. I'll give some to my bro. Who I'm sure he will give his money to her, but if hes that stupid, thats not my problem. The other sister that disappeared 16yrs ago, gets nothing. I dont know her. I'm sure she's doing find as someone in the Air Force so...... don't even! If theres enuff left, i'd like to help out a few friends who really are struggling. I cna't give any lavish gifts but maybe i can help. I don't know. And of course theres me...... Same 2 choices. Pay off bills, or stock pile it. Its never an easy decision. I need to temp, or shit........just WORK already so I can pay off the bills and get my credit back up to what it was before all this job loss shit happened. Its fixable. Just need money to fix it.
I wasn't kidding about going to Paris though. I don't speak french, no.... but it's time. If anyone wants to come, i could use the company. But if not, I can do it alone. I will find a way to communicate. Ciao
