KGB is stalking me ♪♫

I am so glad I live in a country that allows the freedom of speech. If I were in the old Communist Russia, somebody would've come lookin' for me, and I would've disappeared in the middle of the night, never to be head from again, where I'd likely be shot execution style in a black sedan with blacked out windows, or thrown in some gulag to rot and die.



About every 3 months, congress threatens to stop unemployment. Every time it puts us on edge about how we are going to make ends meet. They stopped extensions a few months ago. I watched a friend lose her home and move out of state where she knows noone because she had no other choice. Another friend is thinking of doing the same. I know I could be next. Except I wouldn't move. Where the hell am I gonna go??? I said I'd stay here til the bitter end. I still have some fight left in me. I worked too hard to get to the shore and i'm not leaving without a fight. Though I'm generally considered a failure to my other working, young professional friends, who are living in (it seems) the lap of luxury, shopping, new cars, exotic vacays, buying houses, remodeling kitchens (seems like every single person is doing this!!!!!) getting married, investing in stocks and so on...., I have to keep on trucking with my loser self and survive. Its easier to be around people who don't have as much money, and I can say "I'm broke" without being looked down on. I was doing ok for a while, but I'm about to dip into poverty once again. I did in June, and again in Sept.



Congress reinstated the UE benefits but now is talking of lowering NJ's UE payout because its "too high" and doesnt give incentive for people to get back to work. For this, I must rant...

There are not enough JOBS for the 10% of this population to get back to work. So punishing everyone else just because a small few sit home and collect and dont look for work is not fair. There is no way every single person, or even an acceptable portion of them will return to work. Where are they gonna work? Who is hiring?And I speak from experience that when you apply to a low level, unskilled job, you most likely will not get called. Some of those jobs wouldn't even pay the bills anyway. Sometimes you may be better off on UE waiting for a job that will cover the expenses. If you can meet all your expenses on UE, and a job calls you wanting to pay you half of the UE, and you know you'll lose your home if you take it, um.....what would most people do? WAIT for something else! I mean if you have UE. If you don't, you have to take it and hope Burger King will hire you for the night shift. I can't even get a min. wage job either! I've applied at every place around here. No callbacks. None whatsoever.

I am sickened that people are always trying to punish the unemployed. Using threats to get them back to work. They dont want to borrow from the federal government anymore to fund UE, but when the UE'd people reach the end of the line, they will apply for welfare, housing assistance, section 8, medicaid and other assistance programs. Someone will need to pay to house these people who can't pay their rent/mortgage anymore. Someone will need to put them in shelters, hotels, affordable housing. Someone will need to feed these people. Someone will need to foot the bills for the kids to get vaccinated and see Drs. Someone will have to pay for training programs to get these people jobs (which don't exist anyway). Who will be paying for that if NJ exhausted its money? THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT.



I have temped during this time and I have met many temps who have told me they lost everything. Their home, their car, their children. Have no credit. Bankrupt. Sleeping on a friend's couch until the friend gets tired of them there. Can't even afford to keep a car on the road (insurance/gas) to look for a job. So many people have these stories. I know I could be one of those people. I have tried to work as much as I could, doing the shittiest of the shitty jobs you can think of. I've been treated like an idiot. Like I had no capacity to do anything but rip paper, or file. I've lost my dignity. Why? To survive! The last thing I want now is for congress to pull the rug out from under me and punish me for not finding a real job by cutting my UE down in size. I dont know what my new UE will be in Aug. Iread an article today that says that it is now 2/3 of the previous income (which in my case was low paying temp jobs). Before it was 60%. So it should be slightly higher. I was worried my new UE would be too low to live. It may be. I wasn't able to score a temp job over $14/hr this year. Last year I did. It just seems like theres never any rest if you're unemployed. You are always left to worry every few months, while you see people around you prospering and succeeding. I can't seem to get past that though. I hate watching my friends succeed while I fail. But there's no hope. I used to be successful too. Used to be.



The next 2 months will be very tense ones as I await my fate of my new UE payout in April, and to see if I get an extension to cover me from Feb 9 when my UE runs out til April when my new claim starts up (since I worked I get a new claim). And congress will probably throw in a few more attempts to stop UE or cut it down I'm sure. This country is going to hell. I dont' know how we're gonna get out of this. I refuse to live this way. I want to live comfortably. I want to work. I'll work my ass off. I'm not lazy. As long as I'm bringing home $, and I can survive on it, I'll do whatever it takes. Becoming a nurse will take YEARS since Unemployment blocked me from taking too many classes at a time. I'm no longer allowed to go full time. Even at night. I feel like they are trapping me in the system. They want me off UE, but every time I think of a way to gET off, they block me from doing it. I'll be on for a while. I dont plan to stop working. They have to pay me UE as long as I work. Its cheaper to let me have my way. Its your loss though, Uncle Sam. Your loss.




In other news...
I had a good Xmas. First xmas I didn't spend alone!!! Yay! Hung out w/ one friend on Xmas Eve, and 2 more on Xmas day. The day after xmas wasn't so great.

There was a huge snowstorm that dumped 3 feet of snow onto the Jersey Shore (I'm not exaggerating). From Dec 26, 2010, to Dec 31, 2010, I was stuck in my apt. Unable to go anywhere. My apt is small. I hate being locked up in small spaces. Day 2 I was able to hop down the street in crotch high snow to the end of the block to see if that street was plowed, and hop back. It sucked all the energy out of me.


This is my car on the second night of snow imprisonment. I am walking on frozen snow in the middle of my street, and looking down at my car which is burried up to the windows almost. My car is high off the ground compared to most cars.

Below is my street, looking back towards my house from my car. 3ft of snow in the street.



On New Years Eve the plow finally came through. Our township (Neptune) probably couldn't plow us out because they cut costs and couldn't pay people to do it. Our mayor repeatedly said on the website that plows would be thru the town by the morning. Every morning there was nothing. We had plows come from Maryland to get us out. My town was on the news for its pathetic snow clearing plan. Neptune itself is kinda ghetto and thats why I'm not surprised. My portion, is actually a part of Neptune but is not ghetto.
My message to you!

Once again, glad I'm not in communist Russia. Or someone'd be knockin on my door tonight and I'd never be heard from again. My blog is becoming commonplace for anti-government rants.