Poverty here I come! Well here I shall stay I mean.

Today was a bad day. I went to UE to find out for sure what my claim was gonna do next. I needed to come up with a plan. I have an $8000 extension sitting there for the income level I make now (barely makin' it).But my claim renewal date is approaching (April 6). last year I had to renew my claim insted of take the extension I had. This year its different. All I did was TEMP.

I temped for shit pay. Cuz well, thats what temping pays. So UE is 60% of that shit pay. I waited at the UE office for 3hrs. I was about to leave cuz there was 100 ppl in front of me, but in the end decided to stay. I talked to the wonderkind, Patrick, a nice guy who works ther who can override the system and he'll actually help you, rather than tell you TOUGH like the rest of em do. I was hoping I'd get to talk to Patrick. He was my onlyhope. there was a spanish lady there too who was a bitch. I didnt want to talk to her. She doesn't go out of her way to help like Patrick does.

I got called and I did have Patrick. I explained my situ and he kept flipping thru tons of screens and he was doing math out loud. I hoped that'd be a good sign. He said "ok ..." in a good tone, hoping that maybe he was gonna help me.

Then he goes "You can't take your first extension. The government wants people off the extensions cuz its federal money. Youo are elegible for a new claim since you've worked (temped) and you have to take what they give you." I was shocked. I said "what about that $8000 I have sitting there?! Its gonna go to waste?!". He said, "basically, yeah. You have to take the new claim. Its federal rules. We can't tamper with it." I was in a state of panic, knowing how little i got paid as a temp, thinking my claim was gonna be $300 a week or so. Which I couldn't live on. I asked him if there was any way he could tell what I was gonna make on my new claim. He said yeah and he said they use all of 2009's income. I was gonna make....


$279 a week.



I think i said something like "WHOA" or something lielk that like i got shot in the stomach by a sniper. It was a huge blow. I Knew theres no way i can live on so little money. No way. I got up so quickly and walked out. Panicking. I knew there was no hope at all now. I was gonna be in poverty longer. Much deeper into poverty.

Shit's hard. Money's tight. I try to see my friends and enjoy life if I can swing it cuz at this point, its all I have. There'll be no more of that. I probably won't be able to drive much anymore. Def wont be able to go out w/ friends unless its someone's house. I walked to my car in a state of defeat.

They beat me. I lost the battle.

I can't believe things are going this way. I dont' know whats next. Short of a miracle, theres no hope. This is where I am now. Cuz I sure the hell dont' feel like talking.

i did the math and found out that the federal poverty level is $10,000 and change. I'll be making $7,000 and change. I will be living under the poverty level at 30yrs old. But won't qualify for help cuz there are alotta people poorer than me (who have kids). I never thought that THIS would be my life.

All I can do now is hope for a miracle. Cuz I'm all out of ideas and for once I dont' have a plan. I always have one. But today I was defeated by the government. Thanks, Uncle Sam. *flips off*

People who know me know i'm "anti drug" and barely take an advil unless I have a splitting migraine or something but tonight, I am gonna fill my Rx for Xanax. Shit that I usually sell for 10x the price to other people. I'm about to call the pharmacy now to have them fill it. Its gonna be rough from here on out and I'm overstressed as I'm writing this. Luckally I'm so not an addictive person and dont enjoy feelig like a vegetable so Xanax is only for rough nights.

Running works better than a drug. Problem is its snowing and its slushy. If it wasn't I'd be going for a jog instead of resorting to the American way to solve problems by popping a pill. *bah*