So I'm not gonna go back and recap, cuz honestly, I'm still unemployed, usually broke, and I don't really DO anything except, eat, sleep and temp. Oh and tan (just like Megan from Rock of Love). I had my bday recently and my friend kinda planned something for me cuz I was kinda miserable since I was broke all this time and couldn't even afford a real party.
A day before my bday, a friend of mine died. I felt bad cuz I was kinda mad at her for something that happened in the past and I didn't talk to her as much because of it. She did IM me a few days before she died, but my computer froze up, and I was in the kitchen cooking so I didn't get to really talk to her. But its not like I knew it was gonna happen. The next Thursday, I was going to the temp agency to pick up my check and I heard on the radio that Michael Jackson was rushed to the ER w/ cardiac arrest!
I thought he was dead right then and there. I didn't know you could come back from cardiac arrest. I stayed glued to the radio on my drive home and when I got home, I sat at the boardwalk waiting for an update. I was supposed to walk 2miles. I changed into shorts in my car (very difficult) since I was wearing work pants, and finally they said that he died =(. No celeb death has ever hit me so hard.
Yeah Michael Jackson did alot of weird shit! I'm a fan and I'll admit it! Yeah he went overboard on the plastic surg! But regardless, I was a lifelong fan. And like millions of other generation X ers (or Pepsi Generation haha) I grew up with his music. Everytime I hear his old music, it brings back memories, of a party, or bbq, vacation, or road trip. I had a crush on him when he was still black (and tan) mostly thru the 80s, but then I just liked his music. That was the biggest shock to hear he died. I was in denial for a long time. Watching all his videos on tv made me think it was his bday or something. Its hard to grasp that he's no longer here.
I see alot of myself in him. Theres something that we both have in common. The unhappiness... the fact that theres something missing from our lives. The misunderstandings. Granted hes a big star and I'm just a nobody, but I think Michael would've been the ONE celeb that I WOULD have something to say to /talk about with. I always said if I meet a celeb, I don't know what I'd say to them other than the same shit they hear day after day. I don't think I could sit down and have a deep convo w/ them. Michael Jackson was the exception. I used to imagine what it would be like to meet him, as a lil' chica in the late 80s / early 90s. I'd imagine what we'd talk about. I'd imagine I'd be the girl he'd bring on stage during "She's Out of My Life", and I'd actually behave so they wouldnt' have to carry me off like an animal like some of those other chicks. My brother and I used to talk late at night about MJ and how much we wished we could go see his concerts (MTV was doinga whole behind the scenes of the Dangerous Tour in 1992 when we were imprisioned in Tennessee). Our dream was to see Michael in concert...and of course hang out w/ him. He liked kids. We were kids! lol. We wished he'd pick us outta the crowd to chill with him. We were idiots. lol
When my mom, bro and I stayed in the Taj Mahal in 1991 for the Grand Opening (AC Casino, not the Indian Taj), Michael Jackson appeared at the grand opening. He was staying at the hotel too! My bro and I snuck out and wanedered around the hotel looking for Michael. we asked hotel workers "what room is Michael Jackson in?" God we were idiots!!! We looked in vain but never found him. But boy did we try !!!
*sigh*. And he's gone.....Gone Too Soon.... =( I'm gonna buy the special edition mags to keep just for myself. I'm sure ppl did this when Elvis died too. Its a huge loss to the music community, and to the world.
Michael, I hope you were able to find some happiness thru your children, thru Neverland, and thru the love of your fans and family. I'm sad to see you go, but I'm glad your suffering has ended. Sometimes a person gets to the point where they've had enough. You unfortunately reached that point. I wish you were never PUSHED to that point to begin with. You were upset at how the paparazzi chased Princess Di to her death. You were scared you'd die like Elvis. Now that those have come true, all our hearts are broken for you and the tragic way you've exited this world. A person as giving and as kind as you, should never have had to endure such a painful life. Yet those were the cards you were dealt. My only comfort is now noone can hurt you ever again and for that, I'm glad. But I feel like I lost a close friend. And when I watch your videos, all i feel is sadness just knowing there will be no more videos, no more concerts, no more anything. Thank you for giving us the privilege to hear you and see you dance. We are forever grateful. <3
This is how I'd always like to remember him. This is one of my fave pics of him, at the height of my MJ crush, during the Bad era.
Now onto a happier topic, I FINALLY got a Kayak!!! I've wanted one for years and was never able to get one due to the price, and my lack of job. I thought I'd be employed with a feasible salary this summer for sure, but that hasn't happened as the economy has fallen apart even more. There was one chance at the beginning of April where I thought I'd be able to swing it, due to a partial unemployment payment. But I ended up getting denied and told to go out and make more money (hence I am temping yet again). I ended up falling into a pit of paying my landlord late and even got an eviction threat from him. He later calmed down but I still feel that I'm on thin ice w/ him even tho he told me he 'understands'. I had bought a kayak car carrier kit prior to this eviction fiasco, that allows sedans w/ out roof racks to carry kayaks. I had to return it to help pay my landlord though. All in all I was starting to think that this kayak endevour wouldn't happen this year either. I can' only use it through Sept when the water temp is over 65 degrees.
So, how this ended up becoming a reality, finally was I got back on partial unemployment, due to me temping part time. I'm insured right now, so I've been going to drs left and right to make sure everythings all good before I get uninsured again. I owed UE a refund. I claimed partial, and never got money. Thought it was going towards the refund. Then I find out it hasn't gone in the system yet. So the money was being held. I don't know why but they paid it to me and I decided after weighing the pros and cons, to buy a kayak. Alot of sporting goods stores had sales for the 4th of July and I thought this was the best oppt'y. If I didn't get it now, I honestly don't think I could've gotten it, since money is so tight still.
I went to a place near my temp job in Toms River (the other store was in Lakewood but it was a lil' more expensivo). I ended up getting an Ocean Kayak which is a sit on top kayak. I never did those before. I've only been in a sit inside kayak, which was what I wanted to buy originally. But sometimes you have to compromise when money isn't on your side. This kayak is better suited for the ocean and bay. I could use it in lakes too but want to get the hang of it first, since I dont' want to fall in a mucky lake. The ocean is much cleaner to fall into, despite the sharks. I have a huge fear of sharks since I was warned in the Florida Keys 3yrs ago that the waters were "shark infested". I spent my time swimming there looking down (you can see the bottom there cuz the water's so clear). In NJ you can't see SHIT in the water. You can't even see your feet when you're in waist high water! I'd rather fall into the ocean and hope that there are no sharks. NJ has Mako Sharks. Look em up! They're BIG! We also have tiger sharks which are aggressive. Attacks are rare tho'.... so I have to keep telling myself that.
After work, I went to pick up the boat and realized it doesn't fit in the trunk of my car (w/ all the seats folded down. Fuck! I didn't know of anyone who would help me or who had a truck. I called a friend that's been crashing at my apt to see if she was home, but she wasn't. Then I called my dad to see if I could borrow his SUV. He avoided my calls all day. Great. Figures.
Next day he called and woke me up. It was the 4th of July, his bday, and I planed on going to the beach and walking, not moving my cah for the life of me. My town was packed! I live in a coastal town. But for my kayak I decided to move the cah.
My dad used to work at Shop Rite, and everything he does, says, thinks or dreams is about Shop Rite. Shop Rite is a supermarket for those who don't know. He wanted to meet AT a Shop Rite, in the back by the trucks. He wanted to relive his old days working as a trucker and then trucking spvsr. He parked right next to the big trucks. When I got in his cah, he said "those are some nice trucks aren't they?" Um yeah. Sure. Whatever. Lets go. On the way to Toms River, we saw numerous Shop Rite trucks. Dad would light up when he saw them. Asking where the most local shoprite was to each shore town we were passing thru. In Toms River, he was sad to see the shoprite on 37 closed, but I informed him a new one was on Fischer blvd, and he's like "oh yeah! thats a nice one!!!!" *roll eyes*. Then asked if the seaside shoprite was still there. Sorry dude, don't recall. But I was fed up w/ shop rite talk by that point.
We get kayak. Dad makes a comment infront of the sales guy that my ass won't fit in it, and then we're off. Back to SHOP RITE to pick up my cah, then back to Casa de Heather. I put the kayak next to the house for a while while I made pasta salad for a bbq I went to that nite. Later I moved it to another place w/ other kayaks. I didn't take a pic of it yet, but here's the same model, different color. Its an Ocean Kayak Frenzy model. A smaller kayak (but very heavy and bulky). I got lime green. I'm so sick of orange/yellow kayaks. Most ppl I told said "ugh" at my choice of color, but IIIIIII like the green. So fuck all you ppl! I'll take a pic eventually. Right now its chained up somewhere. See the pic below, and just imagine lime green.
I was supposed to take it out today, but since I went to bed at 6am this morning, and got up at 1030am, I ended up falling asleep after lunch til 430 and missed low tide! I am an idiot. Sooo I 'll have to wait til the next low tide that I am home to see (during daylight). I can't wait to take it out tho'!!!
Now it is almost 1am, and I really should get my (_(_) to bed now. Watching For Rent on HGTV, and gonna get in my comfy bed and sleep for a whole 6-7hrs. Yay. thats not enuff sleep for me. I need 9! I'm a diva! I have a very long day tomorrow. Band rehearsal til 930pm. Luckally I like what I do, and I actually enjoy rehearsal. I'll try to update this thing more often from now on.
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